Writing poetry

I’ve tried writing poetry before, and always never get very far. I have written some in the past, but it’s always a bit more rubbish than I had hoped it was going to be, and I generally lose interest pretty quickly.

I hold two contradictory positions on poetry. One is that I think it is what could make someone like me almost the happiest I can be (or let’s say satisfied rather than happy). The other is that it is so meaningless and ineffectual, and that I could spend my life mastering it, but it won’t change anything important; it would be time wasted.

These are both such extreme ends of the possible spectrum! But I tend to think in such extremes in other areas of my life as well. Not the most helpful of habits.

The first point of view comes from the fact I think a lot about life (a very vague statement) and have a very strong emotional life. I notice so many things around me that I think most other people don’t (that has been verified by partners). I think in funny, silly ways about odd things. I love words and the precision and play that’s possible within language. I’m not saying all that means I’d make a great poet; but certainly they are helpful ingredients I suspect.

On the other hand, I can be quite nihilistic about the point of art, including poetry. I wonder how useful it can be in a world that seems to be getting more angry, more selfish, more caught in narcissistic self-absorption. I know there are many arguments against this, but it tends to be feelings based.

Plus, of course, it’s hard to move beyond writing drivel. That can take years and years of practice. And I’ve always found that process incredibly painful. That’s probably the real blocker; the fear of failure. I somehow expect to be good from the outset.

An obvious answer to the anti-effort sentiment of the last two paragraphs is to lower the bar. And to try my best to fight the eternal battle I seem to have been waging for much of my adult life…that it is okay to do something purely because it’s fun! Sounds silly I know, but I get so easily caught up in immediately thinking about getting so good at something that I’ll be publishing it or performing it, and that if what I am doing is not leading to that, then it’s pointless. Of course to some extent you always want your work to be shared and enjoyed and thought well of by others. But the fact that you could do something mostly for the pure enjoyment of doing it, is something I seem to have a problem with. I always want it to be leading somewhere. Instead of enjoying it in the moment.

Perhaps I can use this blog to practice setting the bar low on poetry as well (I mean as well as setting the bar low on publishing content in general). It can just be odd little snippets in free form to start with. Or prose poetry. I can just make some posts that, and see how it feels. Even something silly like dada-esque nonsense. Let’s see.